What The Devil Happened To My Eggs?

Well, we’ve finally just barely come out of the heatwave that’s been plaguing Ottawa for over a week. It’s still hella hot and sweaty around here, but at least I can manage to get into the kitchen a bit.

I had a craving this past weekend. A craving for something I hadn’t had or made in a long time. I wanted me some deviled eggs. Cold, delicious deviled eggs. I have a certain fondness for this classic hors d’oeuvre of continental cuisine. Over the years I have developed a recipe for deviled eggs that I find unparalleled. It’s perfect for me. In the past I’d made this recipe dozens of times, hundreds maybe.

So, in my arrogance, I decided I didn’t need to review it.

 Even though I haven’t made this particular dish in many years, I just haphazardly double-checked the ingredient list, paid no attention to the amounts that younger me had so carefully measured out to ensure consistency, and boldly soldiered on.

I’m going to get this out of the way now: you can tell by the pictures that the filling is too loose. This broke my heart. I knew it, you know it, I just didn’t want to believe it. I was just so focused on throwing all the good tasting stuff in there, I got overconfident and went overboard.

I’ve said in the past that technique always trumps recipes, and to cook with confidence. I still believe that, don’t get me wrong. However, if you do what I did, just throw stuff into the food processor, barely allowing the amount to register in your mind, with extreme OVERCONFIDENCE, well you reap what you sow.

Now, the filling tasted great. I’m not just tooting my own horn, here. I tasted it and thought, “That’s delicious! But, it’s too loose.” Then I let Liz taste it, and she said, “That’s delicious, but it’s too loose.” To which I replied, “Yeah, but it’ll firm up in the fridge before I pipe it.”

I said that with a straight face. You know, like a liar.

So anyways, half an hour of chilling later, I piped the filling into the eggs. It had not firmed up. I knew. Liz knew. I knew that she knew. She knew that I knew that she knew.

We ate the eggs. They were delicious.

I have provided you here with the ACTUAL WORKING RECIPE. The one I should have better reviewed before I started. This works, I promise. If you follow it, you will have the most delicious and properly textured deviled eggs you’ve ever eaten.

Or you can stray and still have delicious deviled eggs with a looser filling, and your fiancée can have the pleasure of saying I told you so.

Deviled Eggs

Ingredients

• 8 eggs, room temperature
• 30g (2 TBSP) mayonnaise
• 15g (1 TBSP) white wine vinegar
• 15g (1 TBSP) sour cream
• 5g (1 TSP) Dijon mustard
• Vinegar-based hot sauce (Franks, Tabasco), to taste
• Worcestershire sauce, to taste
• Kosher salt, to taste
• Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
• Smoked paprika, optional garnish
• Italian parsley leaves, torn, optional garnish

Method

1. Fill a medium saucepan ¾ of the way full with water. Bring to a boil over high heat. Once boiling, carefully lower the eggs into the water. When the water has returned to a boil, turn the burner to its lowest setting, cover the pot and let stand for 14 minutes, before transferring the eggs into an ice bath to cool completely.
2. Once completely cool, peel the eggs under cold running water. This helps release the shells from the eggs. Halve each egg. Carefully scoop the yolks out of the whites, and place the yolks in a small bowl.
3. Place the whites on a plate, divot-side up. Cover the plate with plastic wrap and transfer the plate to the fridge.
4. Give the yolks a cursory mash with a fork, and place them in the bowl of your food processor.
5. Add the mayonnaise, vinegar, sour cream and mustard. Pulse to combine, and taste the mixture, seasoning with hot sauce, Worcestershire, salt and pepper to taste. Process until just smooth, then, scoop the mixture into your intended piping tool, be it a piping bag, or a zip-top bag with a corner snipped off. Chill the bag in the fridge along with the egg whites for a minimum of 30 minutes.
6. Pipe the filling into the whites, optionally garnishing with paprika and torn parsley leaves. Eat immediately, while your fiancée silently judges you.

Even when things don’t turn out exactly as you want them, they can still be delicious and enjoyable. I take it very hard when my cooking doesn’t come out perfectly. After all, it was my work, my passion and my identity for a long time. But I’m learning that imprecision can be a good thing, too. It makes the day-to-day more enjoyable. After all, I’m not cooking in a restaurant right now, I can make a mistake and loosen up a bit from time to time.

As long as the loosening up doesn’t refer to my deviled egg filling.