The Precarious Position Phase 3 Puts Us In

This one is mostly for my friends in the restaurant industry.

So, it’s very likely that you’re going back to work soon, if you’re not already there. The restaurant industry was one of the hardest hit by COVID-19. It’s possible that things may never go back 100% to the way they were pre-pandemic. Which may not be entirely a bad thing, if you think about it. Regardless, the regulations are out there, but as usual they’ve been written for the government to pass onto us in the industry by someone who most likely has never even worked in a restaurant.

The guidelines as I’ve read them seem to favour the chains, operations with lots of corporate support money behind them. Which is nice, because those guys could really use a win. For small, independent businesses however, these guidelines are just another kick in the groin, preceded by the lack of a rent freeze and followed by who-fucking-knows what else.

And listen, you’ll never hear these small business owners, chefs and restaurant managers alike, grumbling about the regulations. Most of them are thanking their lucky stars that they’re allowed to be somewhat open again, doing what they love: hosting guests, cooking great food, serving cool cocktails and wine and maybe, just maybe by gum, making a little bit of money to put in those bottomless, bulimic pits we call restaurant bank accounts.

It’s now common knowledge to anyone that can read words on the internet that restaurant profit margins are razor thin. Here’s where the hurting starts. Now, on top of operating a business that takes in barely any profits while maintaining an inventory of mostly perishable assets, restaurant owners have to fork out for extra equipment and safety gear. Will this be a tax write off? Will the government help you pay for extra hand sanitizer, disposable masks and sheets of plexiglass? What if you owned a buffet? What happens to you? Everybody gets a patio now, but what if you can’t afford to just *zoop* make a patio appear out of nowhere?

To make it worse, Phase 3 started before we even really got a chance to see if Phase 2 is sustainable. We were all trapped indoors, huddling and scared for so long, that the siren song of summertime patios is undeniably exciting. After all the hoopla of opening these quick-fix patios, just a couple of weeks later we’re allowing dining rooms to open at 50% capacity. Is it too soon? I’m just not sure.

I’m back to work now, extremely part time, mind you . Like one day a week. Does it feel safe? Yeah, I guess? I wear my mask every time I leave the kitchen. I also wear it for as long as possible in the hot, enclosed kitchen. The guidelines say that it’s not necessary, but I like to give the few guests that can see me an extra reassurance. Wash my hands every couple minutes, sanitize everything. Is it enough? I hope so. It certainly doesn’t feel like it used to, that’s for sure.

And just look at some of these guidelines:

•Rearrange and/or remove seating and tables, or mark as unavailable, to ensure a minimum of two metres/six feet between each edge of every table and to maintain two metres/six feet between patrons of different tables (e.g., maintain two metres between the backs of seating when occupied).  Well, of course, you gotta have the distance. Problem is, I know of dining rooms that will have all of two tables with that kinda setup. What happens to our tiny, intimate neighborhood restaurants? What are they to do? And how is anyone supposed to use a restaurant bathroom when they have to stay 2 meters from other people?

•Rearrange equipment and/or processes in the kitchen and other areas used by staff so that a two metre/six foot distance is achievable at all times. If not feasible, staff should wear masks or face coverings.  Have you ever been in a kitchen before? Sure, just let me… pick up my French-top ovens here… I’ll just… toss them over in this corner… let me wheel my portable dishwasher over here, that should do it. Professional kitchens aren’t made out of fucking Lego. You can’t just “rearrange equipment”.

“Well, if you can’t guarantee distance in the dining room or in the kitchen, then for safety’s sake, you shouldn’t open, right?” That’s easy for you to say. Of course, no one who works at or owns a good restaurant wants to see anyone, staff or guest, get sick. And of course, no one who works at or owns a good restaurant will ever put money before safety. But we’re seeing restaurants that have been open for like forty fucking years closing down and that’s scary. No one should lose their livelihood because of this pandemic, either.

And the guests, oh lordy, the guests! Now, I know this next bit isn’t all of you. I know (I hope) that the vast majority of you are empathetic enough to understand what’s going on. What with the purchasing of extra safety supplies, the jenga-like reorganizing of kitchens, the workloads being tackled by reduced staff levels and the madness of making a patio appear in the scant two day heads up that restos were given by the city, things are hectic enough. And yet, there’s always a couple of bad apples to enact a scenario like this:

Server: “Welcome back! Sorry things are a bit different, but we’re doing our very best to ensure that” —

Guest: “Um, seriously? No pinot grigio by the glass?”

Guest: “Is this the whole menu?”

Guest: “If we can’t push our tables together, I’m just going to have to yell to my friends so they can hear me!”

These are actual things that have been said to actual friends of mine working in actual restaurants doing their actual goddamn best. Like I said, I know this isn’t all of you. But this isn’t the time to be an entitled monster.

Understand that these servers and bartenders, cooks and restaurant managers, they’re DOING THEIR BEST. And some of them are working scared, because they HAVE TO WORK. So be kind. And I can’t believe I have to say this, but TIP YOUR SERVER. Tip well. Consider tipping a little extra for the kitchen. For the bar. For the patio furniture, if that’s what’s going to get you to open your wallet. These people need you and they need your help. And if the fervor with which people are piling into patios is any indication, you know you need them, too. So be nice.

For those of you out there in the industry, back to work or not, how are you dealing with all of this? Let me know in the comments down below, or shoot me an e-mail, and we’ll talk again real soon.